13 November 2009

Ridikulus!

Do you ever feel silly just talking about something?

The idea of ME as a physicist seems to me like something one would picture when confronted with a boggart and yelling "ridikulus!" whilst brandishing a wand.

It took me ages to get up the courage to write my acknowledgements post, mostly because it seemed silly to even consider the idea that I may one day be pursuing a doctorate in physics. I mean, ME? For one thing, I've always hated math and I was never any good at science (part b: I'm an artist). For another thing, I change my mind weekly/monthly/yearly about What I Want to Do When I Grow Up (Newsflash: I'll be 30 in three years. I'm grown.) Third of all, saying I want to be a physicist sounds about as reasonable as saying I want to be a professional hockey player, an olympian, an astronaut, or a rocket scientist. It's just one of those pie-in-the-sky sounding goals.

Even though I've mapped out my next four semesters at community college in such a way as to prepare me for University and a physics/astronomy major, even though I've been studying maths and layman-level physics (cause I do NOT have the math skills for anything more advanced yet), even though I can retrospectively see that this is something I always should have tried to do, even though it's a perfectly practical goal that will take a long time to accomplish... I haven't really mentioned it to anyone but my husband and the Internet. Why?

Because I feel silly.

How silly is that?

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