Showing posts with label history. Show all posts
Showing posts with label history. Show all posts

13 November 2009

Ridikulus!

Do you ever feel silly just talking about something?

The idea of ME as a physicist seems to me like something one would picture when confronted with a boggart and yelling "ridikulus!" whilst brandishing a wand.

It took me ages to get up the courage to write my acknowledgements post, mostly because it seemed silly to even consider the idea that I may one day be pursuing a doctorate in physics. I mean, ME? For one thing, I've always hated math and I was never any good at science (part b: I'm an artist). For another thing, I change my mind weekly/monthly/yearly about What I Want to Do When I Grow Up (Newsflash: I'll be 30 in three years. I'm grown.) Third of all, saying I want to be a physicist sounds about as reasonable as saying I want to be a professional hockey player, an olympian, an astronaut, or a rocket scientist. It's just one of those pie-in-the-sky sounding goals.

Even though I've mapped out my next four semesters at community college in such a way as to prepare me for University and a physics/astronomy major, even though I've been studying maths and layman-level physics (cause I do NOT have the math skills for anything more advanced yet), even though I can retrospectively see that this is something I always should have tried to do, even though it's a perfectly practical goal that will take a long time to accomplish... I haven't really mentioned it to anyone but my husband and the Internet. Why?

Because I feel silly.

How silly is that?